dear winter bird, how long can you last?
[this is a post from the archives - originally sent february 6th, 2018]
January is a thing that happened in a whirlwind and now we're almost a quarter of the way through February and I've hardly had any time to catch my breath or come up with a fitting introduction here.
January's playlist - for you.
1. Because the Night - Patti Smith - I think I mentioned before that this is a good song to make up your own lyrics to and that mine are about road rage (start with "Because the road belongs to assholes" and you'll be on your way). I spent a lot of time driving this month so this was necessary.
2. Cinderella Dracula - Tired Lion - This song was a perfect soundtrack to the "But wait, what if I do?" cancer-wondering nightmare at the beginning of the year. It's much more fun to sing now that I know I don't.
3. These Arms of Mine - Otis Redding - Has unrequited affection ever sounded so damn good? Winter ennui in a song, and oh, how grateful I would be.
4. Stargazer - Nap Eyes - The lyric "I don't think twice when I do something nice but I don't do things like that very much because if you go 'round trying to please everybody it only becomes your crutch" has been stuck in my head since I heard it the first time. This song plods and winds and is a weird new year's resolution, but not a bad one.
5. If I Were a Bell - Blossom Dearie - I'm a sucker for a metaphor and this song is full of them and so very fun. It very much resonates with the part of me (read: all of me) that struggles with saying how I feel and prefers to come at things sideways and giddy. (side note: there are a billion versions of this song, including an excellent excellent excellent Ella Fitzgerald one with the delightful lyric missing from this one - "pal, if I were a salad I know I'd be splashing my dressing", so, yeah, this'll be its own playlist of various versions at some point.)
6. Addictions - Lucy Dacus - This song has lines in it that gutted me in the same ways and for the same reasons that parts of St. Vincent's song Young Lover salted old wounds. There's a strange comfort in knowing that no shitty experience is ever truly unique in its outline and there's magic in a song that gives the right words to heal the same hurt it recalls.
7. Reinvent the Wheel - Bright Eyes - January is never a month that finds me at my best, which means it's a month I tend to listen to a lot of Bright Eyes. Old angst habits die hard.
8. What's Chasing You - Marlon Williams - Once, Marlon Williams was at two of the same shows I was in one night and I didn't say hello because I think people tend to want to be left alone mostly and also because the Blue Room at Third Man Records is disorienting and weird and I had a hard time not just falling on the skateboard sloped floors. Unnecessary anecdote aside, Marlon Williams has one of my favorite voices, I'm super super into this song and I'm very excited for his upcoming album.
9. Dream Girl - Jack River - At the beginning of January, I went on my first official first date since 2011 and this song is a perfect encapsulation of that weird phenomenon where you don't always think about the person in front of you as much as you think about the person they might want you to be, trying to decide whether that's a person you'd want to see when you look in the mirror. In this case, I knew in five minutes that the gap between me and his dream girl wasn't a distance easily bridged so - no first official second date since 2011 (Sorry, parents, your daughter's still a loser in singledom).
10. Exile Rag - Kyle Craft - A lot of details get crammed into a Kyle Craft song and he has a lot of voice to deliver them with. There were moments on his debut album that a lot was maybe a little too much for me, but I'm a fan of his song craft in general, and definitely definitely his newest album.
11. Is Love Out of Style? - Wynn Stewart - See above where I talk about having gone on my first official first date in a very long time. Turns out dating is confusing and weird and I don't know what you're supposed to do or say and I've had more opportunities in the last month to do and say the wrong thing than I have ever before and I bungled maybe all of them, so I just listen to this song instead.
12. City Music - Kevin Morby - I realized recently that I don't actually listen to Morby stuff on his own much and have been treating his songs as a playlist palate-cleansers more. This song is a nice bridge between Stewart's mopey-country-plea and the next track's ready-or-not-here-we-go attitude.
13. Loving Is Easy - Rex Orange County, Benny Sings - A coworker (Hi, Mike!) recommended this song in a group chat with the caveat that the musician seems like that dude from trig in high school. Right in one, this song is such a fun jam and yeah, that guy was definitely in my math class.
14. Our Hearts Are Wrong - Jessica Lea Mayfield - Two of JLM's albums have soundtracked two of my relationships; her music is so so good, but the love inspired by them - maybe not so much). In January, I went by myself to see Jessica Lea Mayfield play because I was pretty sure I was going to cry a lot and, hey, that's awkward for people you're not that close to; I didn't cry but someone in the front row sobbed and I almost lost it.
15. Handle With Care - Traveling Wilburys - Has unrequited affection ever sounded so damn good since the Otis Redding song earlier in this playlist? I'm obsessed with this song and have been for a long time - the version with Jenny Lewis, Conor Oberst, M Ward and crew ain't shabby either.
16. Brass Beam - Waxahatchee - Are you tired of all of my playlists having Waxahatchee on them? This one is so good to drive to and I'm not sorry.
17. Falling Water - Peter Oren - Oren's voice bowled me over the first time I heard it (and reminds me sometimes of Colter Wall's). The album this song comes off of sounds soothing on first listen, but its lyrics have a sneaky rebelliousness that'll only hit you when you're humming them days later.
18. Bottle Let Me Down - Emmylou Harris - Emmylou forever. Hangovers for-never.
19. Miles Away - Josh Ritter - I missed the first week of high school to go to Space Camp on a scholarship because I am a super nerd who wouldn't win any popularity contests anyway and I needed a flight suit more than I needed the cool kids to learn my name. Ritter says he wrote this song after flipping through photos taken of Earth from space and you can hear the drifting yearning here and any song that references Cape Canaveral will find a home in my heart.
20. Unmeet You - Wilsn - I've been debating getting a wristband for SXSW this year - mostly to see if I can still stay up as late and turn around and wake up as early as I could the year I volunteered for their photo crew almost a decade ago (shite). Part of the debate included listening to the million artists I've never heard of and this song came from that exploration; it's a jam and if I do make it out to SXSW this year, I'll be the person sitting in the corner, with the water bottle, wearing comfortable shoes.
21. Superstar - Sonic Youth - Somehow I never realized how creepy this song is until I put it on this playlist. Anyway, 10/10, still a fan.
22. Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind - Wilco - Couldn't go from December's playlist that was Wilco-centric to a Tweedy-free-zone without withdrawals. I'm obsessed with this line: "Well I know we should take a walk but your such a fast walker" because 1) it's a perfect example of the way a good Wilco song calls to mind the tiny-details-are-the-reasons-to-love-a-person part of existing and 2) fast walkers shall inherit the earth.
23. Sane - Haley Heynderickx - The first time I listened to the EP this comes off of (Fish Eyes - check out the album art, it's rad and I feel weird saying it's my aesthetic but it 100% is), I ended up listening to it on repeat for three hours. Heynderickx is on one of my favorite little record labels (whose owner I unwittingly talked to about dogs for a really long time once) and I'm very much looking forward to her debut album next month.
24. Ever Ever Ever - M Ross Perkins - This song sounds like it's coming at you through decades of haze but was a 2016 release. It's a jangly guitar groover and the line "He wants to draw for you a picture - it looks to be a lighthouse" is so charmingly oddball it always makes me smile.
25. Picture Perfect - Little Simz - I mentioned this one in an earlier email but this song was in heavy rotation as a commute jam. It loops really well and I highly recommend putting it on repeat and boogie at stoplights if you need the miles to merge and melt away.
26. I Want You - Bob Dylan - Some people plan their dream weddings and think about the cake and the dress and the venue and the flowers and all the other whosits and whatsits and I've only ever given a second thought to the soundtrack. Not that I'm in any position to be planning this (see track #9's description), but if some idiot ever decides to marry me, I'll be walking down the aisle to the Tom Waits' song with the same title and dancing out to this one.
27. Head to Stars - Jack River - This is the second Jack River track on this playlist because her Highway Songs #2 EP was in the mix a lot this month. This track feels like the songwriter stole my high school diary (except that I never bothered to write in it) and filtered it into a warm and fuzzy ode to not getting what you want because you don't know how to ask for it.
28. Splitting Hairs - Honcho Poncho - It would be a lie if I said I didn't first listen to this band because I liked their name. Once I got past that, I really got into the crunchy guitars and the chorus here is another fun one to drive sing along with.
29. Postcard - First Aid Kit - First Aid Kit had a new album come out in January and as much as I'd been looking forward to it, this has been the only song I've gone back to much. The rest of the album skates along nicely, but this ambling one is the only one I plucked out and needed on repeat.
30. Successful - Kamaiyah - Lately, I've been thinking about what being successful means - to me and to others and where the differences come from. This song's conception of success ("diamonds on my neck, diamonds on my wrist" etc.) is decidedly not the same as mine but it's such a fun, confidence-boosting jam.
31. Sleepin In - The Postal Service - Sleeping in (at all, ever) is probably closer to my definition of success. I achieved that success exactly zero times in January, but I sure did sing about it a lot.
32. Critic - Deap Vally - Every time this song starts to play, I think it's actually Unfucktheworld by Angel Olsen and get a little disappointed which isn't fair because I really like this song, too. I guess, to bastardize a line from the lyrics, everyone really is a fucking critic after all.
33. Blue Skies Again - Jessica Lea Mayfield - Here they come, y'all. They're ours for the taking.